Travel Lessons with My Family

Travel Lessons with My Family

In the past year or so I’ve traveled more than ever, for both work and family reasons:

• A tour of southern Europe with 5 of our kids
• NYC (with a vegan tour)
• Maui with all 6 kids
• Japan, on an awesome train trip and cherry blossom festivals with Tynan and some new friends
• NYC with all 6 kids, again sampling the vegan delights
• Portland & Eugene for the World Domination Summit and to visit family
• Los Angeles with all 6 kids

For me, a person who enjoys staying home and enjoying the simple pleasures, it’s been a bit crazy. I don’t normally think of myself as a traveler, but the evidence is against that. I’m a traveler now.
And during it all, I’ve been taking notes. I’d like to share them with you here — my lessons learned in the past year or so of traveling.

Traveling Lightly

For me, the traveling lightly philosophy isn’t just in what you pack (though that’s a good part of it), but in how you approach travel.
Here are some lessons learned:

• For most people, a backpack of 24-, 18- or even 16-liters is enough. I’ve traveled with a 16-liter backpack for weeks with no problems. I think we tend to bring more because of fear that we might need more.
• Wash clothes in the sink and hang them overnight. Bam. You just eliminated the need to bring a lot of clothes.
• My packing list: I wear jeans, underwear, a T-shirt, socks and shoes (of course), and then pack 2-3 more underwear, another T-shirt/workout shirt, workout shorts (that I can run and swim in), 2 more pairs of socks, minimalist running shoes (that don’t take up much space), a Macbook Air and iPhone (with Kindle app so I can read books), cords and some toiletries. If it might be cool, a sweater or jacket.
• I wear the same jeans over and over, and just wash them once every week, hanging them up at night to air out.
• Packing lightly means traveling more easily, not having to drag around a roller bag or luggage. Honestly, you don’t realize how much this costs you in energy and happiness until you go without all the weight. Trips become easier, packing and unpacking takes a few minutes, and you aren’t tired or grumpy.
• Traveling lightly also means you don’t plan out as many things to do, but instead just research possibilities. What do you do each day? You look at the possibilities, and explore. You might just walk around and see what there is to see. Don’t worry about a schedule.
• Traveling lightly also means avoiding the tourist traps. Some tourist attractions are genuinely worth seeing (great art and architecture), but otherwise, just see the city and people watch. You avoid the lines, and again you are lighter and happier.
• It also means resting. Built into each day: slowness and rest stops and picnics and lounging in parks and stopping to just be in a place.
• Walk a lot to explore, and try public transit. Also go for a run. These are the best ways to explore a city.
• Finally, let go of expectations. If you’re going to a great city like Rome for the first time, you probably have an idea of what it is like. You’re wrong, and because it won’t match your expectations, you might be disappointed or frustrated. Instead, go in with curiosity, to explore and to really see. You’ll enjoy every trip much more.

The Funnest Stuff

Here are some highlights that I’ve loved:

• In New York City, definitely don’t miss Hack the Museum. My friend recently started these super fun tours of the Met, and I took my whole family, not because I like tours (I usually hate them), but because they make a normal museum experience into an extraordinary one. Highly recommended.
• In Portland, go on a run in Forest Park. Really lovely, miles and miles of trails through a real forest, right within the city limits.
• In Japan, go during Cherry Blossom season, because it’s gorgeous. It gets crowded, but people watching is part of the fun. You also don’t need to go on the exact weekend when they have the festival, because Cherry Blossom viewing (hanami) seems to go on for weeks. Go with a few friends, lay down a blanket or tarp, bring Japanese picnic food and drinks, and have an amazing time.
• In Rome, St. Peter’s Basilica blew me away with its grandeur.
• The Cinque Terre in Italy — five towns tumbling down cliffsides into the Mediterranean, linked by a train and walking trails — were beautiful and worthwhile.
• Sunbathing on the beaches of Antibes (southern France) was very nice, and I loved the romance of being where Hemingway and Fitzgerald also played around with their hip friends.
• In NYC, we truly love Candle 79, Candle Cafe, Hangawi, Blossom, Dun-well Doughnuts, Babycakes and the Cinnamon Snail. Vegan heaven.
• People watching: Central Park in NYC, beaches at Antibes and Barcelona, Osaka Castle, Ueno Park in Tokyo, Hachiko statue at Shibuya Station in Tokyo, Williamsburg flea market.
• In Japan, you can buy a weeklong train pass and ride the bullet trains everywhere. Tokyo is amazing, but there are other great places, from Osaka to Kyoto and Uji to Miyajima to an organic tea farm outside of the town of Fujieda, that you should definitely see. Bullet trains (shinkasen) are amazing.
• Portland has amazing vegan food! My new friend Ami Baio, a Portland vegan, took me and some friends to some terrific places: Canteen, Portabella Vegan Trattoria, Blossoming Lotus, SweetPea bakery, and the vegan mini-mall! Oh my goodness. All are highly recommended.

Traveling with Kids

Traveling with kids isn’t always easy. But we love traveling with ours. Here’s what we’ve learned:

• Talk to them before the trip about mindset. We explained to them that things will go wrong, we’ll get tired, we’ll walk a lot, we’ll get lost. It’s all an adventure. If they have this adventure mindset, things will go much easier.
• Talk to them about complaining. Again, we’re on an adventure, and complaining isn’t a part of that. Instead, be grateful you’re in this new place, exploring and seeing amazing things.
• Bring sketchbooks. We brought sketchbooks to NYC and would take breaks in the park and draw. Lots of fun!
• Walk a lot at home, for training. Our kids walk a fair amount here in San Francisco, so when we travel and walk a lot to explore, they don’t tire so easily. They still tire, but at least they’re in decent shape.
• Rest. Kids need rest. Build that into the plan each day.
• Gelato — they’ll go anywhere if you reward them with gelato!
• Let them help with the planning. If you’re just dragging them to places you want to see, then it’s boring. But if they helped plan out the trip, including a list of places to see, they’ll be more interested.
• Be each other’s tour guides. When we went to MOMA, we each picked an artist, learned about it, and then had to explain the artist to the others, like a tour guide.
• Get an apartment. We used AirBnB to get apartments in each city. It’s more comfortable for a large family, and cheaper than getting several hotel rooms, plus we could get groceries and cook at home for some meals, rather than eating out all the time. Also, there’s often wireless internet and washer/dryer (if you choose well).
• Kids can travel light too. Our kids each brought a small backpack each, one that they could carry (our younger ones had really small backpacks). They’re responsible for their own stuff. We’ve experimented with this on several trips, and it works out well.
• Give the kids responsibilities. They’re not passengers sitting back enjoying the ride — they’re helping plan and find their way around public transit and pick restaurants and get us to trains on time, etc. They’re learning to travel, and as adults they’ll be really good at it.

These are just a handful of the lessons I’ve learned. I’ve loved every place we’ve visited, and have met some lovely readers in each city, and it’s been excellent. Thank you to everyone we’ve met.

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My Most Minimal Travel Setup Yet

I just got back from a trip to Beijing and Shanghai, and really loved how light I traveled for 8 days.
It was the least amount of stuff I’ve taken on a trip of any length, and traveling has never been less tiring.
When you have very little on your back, it’s less draining. It’s faster and funner.
I thought I’d share my latest travel setup, in hopes that it’ll inspire a few of you to try the joys of traveling lightly.

My Setup

This setup is unique to me, so I don’t recommend that you copy it … but that said, I’m sharing it so you can possibly get a few ideas and see how light travel is possible.

1. The backpack. I traveled the entire time with just a tiny backpack, no luggage or roller bag. The one I used is the Goruck 15L Shadowruck, which is just 15-liters in volume and only 0.27 lbs. (!). It’s super light. It’s tough. Not much room in it. Perfect.
2. No laptop. The most significant change I made to my setup this trip is to travel without my 11-inch Macbook Air. This tiny laptop is only 2.38 lbs., but traveling without a laptop is a huge change in weight. I was only going for 8 days, so I did my writing before I left. This wouldn’t work for many people. If I had to write for a longer trip, I could find an Internet cafe in most cities and write there.
3. The iPhone. While I resisted getting an iPhone for 6 years, in June Eva bought me the iPhone 5 for Father’s Day. So I’m now a part of the smartphone masses. And I embraced it on this trip, carrying only the iPhone, no laptop or camera. I did my reading, Tweeting, email and other work on here. And of course used it to document my trip with sweet photos. Also included: the charging cord.
4. Clothes: I favor workout clothes, because they are breathable, washable, comfortable and dry fast. So I wore the Ascent Pant, which looks a little dressy and is light and breathable. And a Precision T. And ExOfficio boxer briefs. I packed: another Precision T, two more boxer briefs, some workout socks, workout shorts, and a long-sleeve workout T-shirt. Just in case, I also packed a thin, lightweight Nike rain jacket (I didn’t need it this trip). Just in case it was cold, I also packed a beanie.
5. Toiletries. Deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, nailclippers.
6. Food. Just in case, I packed a handful of fruit & nut bars, and some raw almonds.
7. Other. I also had a couple of notebooks and pens, for writing, my passport, earbuds, a travel towel, a sleep mask, ear plugs, and a universal travel adapter.

Total weight: under 8 lbs.

Questions and Answers

Q: Why travel without a laptop?
A: I liked traveling without all the weight. And I tend to use the laptop too much when I travel, so I thought the restriction of not having a laptop would be good for me. If I needed to write, I might have found a foldable keyboard for the iPhone, or used an Internet cafe.

Q: How do you travel with so few clothes?
A: I simply wash them in the shower, wring them out good, and hang them to dry in my hotel room. I didn’t need to wash the pants, though they’re easily washable (as opposed to jeans). If you wash underwear, a shirt and socks on most nights, you only need one or two changes.

Q: Why workout clothes and not cotton?
A: I love cotton. It’s just heavier, and it gets smellier, than the workout clothes I pack. And it takes longer to dry. And wrinkles more. So the clothes I brought solve all those problems, and they’re very comfortable.


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Letter to an 18-year-old on the Career Path Less Traveled

Recently an 18-year-old who is finishing school wrote to me, asking for advice on choosing a career without enough life and work experience to make an intelligent decision.

He said, “Should I take the road less traveled, which may be risky and fearful, or choose a college course that interests me to some degree and see where that leads to. I suppose I don’t want to end up as the typical everyday-joe at the office from 9-5. I want to be different from the masses, to make an impact on this world, to be fulfilled. How do I get the best start into adulthood?”

It’s such a great question. And what I love is that he’s asking the question in the first place — most 18-year-olds just take the safe route.

Here’s what I’d say: take the career path less traveled.

If you don’t want to be the typical Everyday Joe, in a 9-to-5 office job, don’t go the route that everybody else takes.

If you want to be different than the masses, you have to take a different path.

I took the safe path when I was 18, and got a job and went to college, and it didn’t screw me up … but it also took me nearly 20 years before I finally found what I loved to do. It was a struggle, being on the road that’s well traveled, because I was consigned to a career I didn’t really like.

Yes, the career path less traveled is scarier. There are no guarantees. You are sticking your neck out, taking risks, being different, probably to the scorn of others. This is lonely.

But the loneliness is temporary. Soon you’ll find others who are doing things different, and you’ll connect with them in a way you’d never have connected with the people taking the safe path. You’ll be inspired by them, and inspire them in turn.

And the scariness is a lesson worth learning — if you can overcome a bit of fear, you can do anything. You’re not limited to the world of comfort and safety.

So what do you do on this scary, lonely, exciting path?

That’s totally up to you — you are empowered to figure things out on your own.

But here are some ideas:

• Learn about who you are. Meditate, and blog. Those are the best two tools for learning about yourself.
• Teach yourself stuff. The Internet has anything you want to learn, from writing to 3D animation to programming to carpentry to guitar. Never stop learning.
• Find out how to motivate yourself. There will be times when you don’t feel like doing anything. This is a good problem to have, because you’ll have to figure out how to solve it or else go get a boring job where someone motivates you. Solve it. You’ll be much better prepared for the road.
• Figure out what you’re passionate about. This isn’t easy, because it takes a lot of trial and error. Try a lot of things. When you get good at something, by the way, you’ll like it much more. You’ll suck at everything at first.
• Help others. When someone doesn’t know how to do something, teach them. When they need a hand, lend it. When they’re stuck, offer yourself up. Seek ways to help. It will teach you a lot, including who you are and what you’re passionate about. It’s also good motivation.
• Connect with others. Find people who love what you love, who are doing weird things, who travel, who make their own path. They are awesome and fun to hang out with.
• Learn to need little. If you need very little, you don’t need to make much. This frees you up to learn and explore more.
• Explore the world. You can travel very cheaply if you need little. Meet new people. Learn languages. Work odd jobs.
• Get really good at something. Practice, read more, watch others who are good, steal ideas and make them your own, work on projects that excite you and learn as you work on them, practice more.
• Teach something valuable. If you learn to program, teach a beginner. If you learn poker or guitar or martial arts, teach that. People will thank you.
• Get paid as a freelancer. When you’ve learned a skill, hire yourself out online. You don’t have to be awesome yet, just don’t charge a lot. Try to really deliver. On time. Be trustworthy and your reputation will grow.
• Sell something. Make a small product, whether digital or real world, and sell it. You learn a lot by selling.
• Learn to be a good person. Show up on time. Try your best to meet deadlines. Be honest. Learn compassion. Keep your word. Especially to yourself.

If you do half these things, you’ll love the path. If you do almost all of them, your impact on the world will be palpable.

And when you’ve been traveling this path for 6 months or more, write me back and tell me how it’s going.
with love,

Leo

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16 Essential Tips for Traveling with a Family

‘Not all those who wander are lost.’ ~J.R.R. Tolkien

Traveling with a family is a completely different beast than traveling solo or as a couple — I’ve done both numerous times, and the two experiences don’t even seem related.

Eva and I just got back from a 3-week trip through southern Europe with five of our kids. It was a wild adventure, going through six foreign cities on foot and by train, speaking broken bits of three foreign languages, exploring cities and coastlines all day long, soaking in sun and history and wine.
We loved it. We exhausted the kids, but came back wiser, tanner, and better off for having seen more of the world and its peoples.

This post isn’t meant to give an account of our trip, but to share some of what I’ve learned about traveling with a family, in hopes that it will help other families who travel.

Here are some random things I’ve learned:

1. Pack light as hell. If you’re traveling in multiple cities, that means you’re dragging everything you pack around for miles. We each carried a tiny backpack (mine was 16 liters) with just a change of clothes, a book and a few toiletries. My packing list: a t-shirt, shorts, 2 pairs of quick-dry boxers, 2 pairs of socks, a book, deodorant, razor, toothbrush, 11″ Macbook Air. That all takes up very little space and weighs a tiny amount. In addition I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt, underwear, socks and tennis shoes. There was a big contrast between us, with our small backpacks, and others who had roller luggage, big backpacks, suitcases and other heavy things they were lugging around everywhere.
   
2. Stay in central apartments. We avoid hotels, as we’d have to rent several rooms for our large family. It’s cheaper to rent an apartment, which also comes with a kitchen and often a washer/dryer and a living room. It’s much more comfortable. We will rent an apartment in each city we visit, and try to find ones that are central, so we can walk to the best areas from our home base, and come back for naps if necessary.
   
3. Walk everywhere (with some mass transit). The best way to explore a place is by foot, not car or tour bus. You cover less ground on foot, but you only really see a place when you walk it. Bikes would be next best, but not manageable for a large family. We have good walking shoes and are in good walking shape from walking around in our home city. It’s so much fun to walk through winding medieval streets, stop and drink from ancient fountains, grab a croissant or gelato whenever you like, see locals walking around, stop in a little shop if it catches your fancy, see nature up close. And it’s a good workout. We learn to use the local mass transit system a bit, when we’re in a city, so we can easily get to further areas and walk around there.
   
4. Get lost. You don’t really learn a place until you get lost in it. I always get a map of where we are, and try to orient myself, but I also like to put the map away for a bit and get a bit lost, so I can find my way through exploring and wrong turns. You also discover the most unexpected things when you allow yourself to get lost. Wander, explore, discover, be surprised.
   
5. Gelato will keep kids happy. Kids get tired walking, and bored of historical sites and museums. But if you buy them a gelato every afternoon, they perk up, and smiles suddenly appear as if from nowhere. After sampling a bunch of different gelato flavors the first few days in Rome, I discovered I always regretted not getting chocolate gelato. So I came up with a rule for myself: Always get chocolate gelato. I never regretted it for the rest of the trip.
   
6. Use your trip as a language course. Knowing we were going to Italy, France and Spain, we learned a bit of the languages before we left. The kids had fun learning to say hello, thank you, and where’s the bathroom, among other phrases. We never got fluent, but I think we all learned a bit about cultures and languages, and it was a great start. There’s no better way to practice a language than visiting the country.
   
7. Ask locals for recommendations. Guide books and the Internet are great, but the best recommendations come from people who really live there. Before we left, I asked for recommendations from locals and made a list. While we were in each city, I would ask locals we met for recommendations as well, and came up with some delightful discoveries.
   
8. Avoid tourist traps. We tried to avoid the most touristy places, though of course you can’t avoid seeing the historical sights like the Colosseum in Rome or the Duomo in Florence. But if you do go to highly touristed places, avoid the shops and restaurants that surround them. They are expensive, bad quality, and aimed at the tastes of tourists instead of locals. Walk 5-10 minutes to find something better.
   
9. Have something to keep kids busy on trains. I don’t mind train rides at all, but the kids get bored. So they each have some kind of device, like an iPod touch or game device, to play games, listen to music and watch movies. Not my favorite thing in the world for them to do, but so much better than complaints of being bored for several hours.
   
10. Naps are good. We tend to leave each morning for exploring, and then come back after a late lunch for a nap. The kids get tired walking around in the sun, and so do we. A nap of an hour (or three if you’re jetlagged) is a good thing, and we usually would head out when the day was cooling down for some evening sightseeing and dinner.
    
11. Buy groceries. We tend to buy cereal and yogurt and fruit for breakfast, along with coffee and maybe some things for dinner or snacks. This allows us to save money, eat something a bit healthier than pastries and pizza at least one or two meals of the day, and relax at home in the mornings and during our afternoon break. It’s one of the good things about having an apartment.
12. One or two days isn’t enough to see a place. I found 4-5 days a better number. In one or two days, you’re rushing through the major sites and don’t get to relax, or if you go at a slower pace you don’t get enough of a sample of a city to really know it. Of course, if you don’t have kids, you could spend a week or three in a good destination, but with kids I’d recommend a medium timeframe like 4-5 days.
13. Spice up the history lessons. Traveling makes history come alive. I will usually do a little research and then tell the kids stories about the sites we’re visiting. Still, they get bored with that sometimes, so you have to spice up the history with tales of wars, romances, pirates and tragic deaths. I’m not saying you should make stuff up (though I won’t tell if you do), but look for that stuff in the histories and highlight it.
    
14. Have relaxation days. While exploring cities by foot is great, sometimes you need a longer break than an afternoon nap. So we’d have days where we lounged around on the beach or parks most of the day instead of sightseeing, and it was a great way to recharge the batteries.
    
15. Wine makes things more relaxed. Eva and I would often have wine with lunch, and definitely with dinner. It made us more relaxed as we had to manage herding five kids around busy streets that we didn’t know, using languages we couldn’t speak. We smiled more, breathed easier. Also, red wine is like health food.
    
16. It’s a grand adventure. Things will go wrong. You’ll not only get lost, you’ll lose things, miss trains, find the place you’re going to closed. You can make the best of plans, but the truth is, you don’t control things. Life has its own plans. The key is to smile, accept the way things are, and see it all as part of your great adventure. And this is the philosophy you should convey to the kids, even before you travel, to make their experience all the more enjoyable and enlightening.
    
    
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